Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
