Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
