ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
