Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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