...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize