is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
