hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
