On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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