I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
