I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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