kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
