she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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