he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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