yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
