Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
