but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
