I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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