Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
