sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
