Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
