Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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