Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
