After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
