im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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