Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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