I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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