How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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