He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
