oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
