Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
