i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
