just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i came on her dog
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
