I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
