i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
not ubering you a puppy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
