I'm eating all of the evidence.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize