I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
