I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
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