it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Shame is for Republicans.
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