do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
