My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
