Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
