"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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