Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
