If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
