what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
