started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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