I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
