I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
