i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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