dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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