GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
