So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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