Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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