im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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