I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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