why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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