I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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