he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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