have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
