he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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