Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
