I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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