you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
