Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
