i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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