that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
