wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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