two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
