if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
