Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
