i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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