What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
