How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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