trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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