bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
