You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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