i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
