I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
