You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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