There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
