Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
